I have REALLY funny things that happen at my school, some of them have INSANE LOL-bility and I WANT to write about it...but all the stories of people getting fired after bloggin about their work has moved me to paranoia...thus my xanga is dead.

Lo-sientO...

anyways beside all the fun, I really feel like im becoming latino, teaching at an 99 percent hispanic school...I really enjoy my job.

friday night date w/ my mama.

This friday I went to eat with my moms, then we went bowling.  It was super fun.  my mamas super cute.

but yeah since she lived with all boys she is one tough cookie.  We used to compete in alot of different sports when i was growing up. from ping-pong to wrestling.

anyways I guess get my bowling genes from her.

bowling skillz:

(watch how she spins the ball my moms got mad skillz)

also it was super fun because my mama's really playful and cute you just want to squeeze her to death... Growing up my dad always got mad at me cause I hugged her too hard...but seriously? how can you not...look how she tilts her head when she talks, shes such a cutie pie!

LOST IN TRANSLATION...

anyways not having church on fridays has some benefits.  Im really thankful that God has given me this special time to spend with my mom...Cause you never know how much more time you have together.

this is family ministry we are building the kingdom in our household with love.

Good Friends...

These two good friends... drove up 3 hrs today to eat dinner with me.   Just being friends with them forces me to be blessed.

Last winter in the snow storm we went to eat at lil porgy's but on our way into the store We saw someone on the street stuck in the snow.  I saw 2 people already helping them and I was hungry so I wanted just go in and eat but they FORCED me to go out and help those people get out of the snow.   Without them I wouldnt have been able to be blessed by serving.

Today they came up and ate dinner with me, then we went to jamba juice, watched the bears game and prayed together and they drove back down to champaign.

It was an awesome time just talking and praying about Life, God and Girls. 

I feel so strengthened.

Ever since High School I always prayed for Godly friends.  I am so thankful God was gracious to me to send me two guys who I can run and finish this race with.

I love you jas and tafty

Wicker Park

"I do not ask to take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one"

As a christian its so easy to cover my eyes and not know whats going on in the world. 

In champaign I used to pass by green st. late at night and see all the worldliness from a distance but last night I got to sit in that scene. 

Ive never been to a bar before let alone be in the middle of a street full of drunken and wild people.

It was  an amazing eye opening experience.  Many people were ignornant to the reality of God and blissful while enjoying the incomparable lesser pleasures of sex, money and alcohol. 

In the crowd God pointed out a few people that caught my eye inside the bar.  they were lonely and hopeless looking for someone, something to live for. 

"Lift up your eyes and look at the fields, they are ripe for harvest"

and it struck me that I had THE answer inside me.  Jesus...

All I needed to do was shine...even a smile, will give them a glimpse of the light. 

"You ARE the light of the world.   A city on a hill it cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket but on a Stand...In the same way let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and Glorify your Father in heaven."

The light IS within me but I need to show it.  Its just I cover my light with the basket of sin, lazyness, and selfishness  Jesus showed me how, I just need to do it...

anyways I'm trying to display my light in the darkness...one repentant step at a time.

Lord, Work from my heart to the ends of the earth...

lessons and poetry that flows naturally out of my heart...

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.

thats all I ever think of....

Even in my walk with God.  I wanted to be the best, the most loved, the most spiritual.

I was the one to enjoy other's failing and falling so I can be the most holiest of ALL.  I was so quick to judge, when the christian life seemed so easy to me. 

This kind of thinking and heart was pretty dominant early in my christian life. 

NOW the tables have turned and I always seem to be the one trailing, failing, falling deeper into sins I've never imagined, hit hard by the realities of this world and realities of my weakness.  I see people whizzing by me....

and I lie here in my mess, alone, hopeless ,helpless, and giving up...When before I told the Lord,  NEVER, NOT ME LORD! I WILL NEVER FALL AWAY. HAHA,

its pretty laughable now...knowing who I am now.  I was SOOO ignorant of who I am, I thought I could do it alone, thought I was God's gift to God and man.

But through All of you who are winning the race, who see me lying back here, coming back to pick me up again and dragging me forward, I am able to understand that This Race is not won by finishing first but the race is won by finishing together as the church. 

GRACE, which was just a word, NOW, IS A LIFESTYLE. 

I live in it, breathe it, bathe in it.  I cannot be associated apart from it.

I mustve been a Prophet, when i named myself John in 7th grade.

because I literally live out my name.

John- "God is Gracious"

IF John Park Does EVEN ONE THING GOOD, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WILL GLORIFY ME? 

NO ONE, PEOPLE WILL SAY WOW GOD IS GRACIOUS!!!

HONESTLY, In my pride, I USED TO HATE BEING JOHN PARK because people look down on me, think im an Idiot, a failure, and unwise BUT NOW I LOVE IT! because that means GOD IS MORE GLORIFIED THROUGH ME!

IF I EVEN DO JUST ONE GOOD THING!!!

WHO CAN DENY THAT CHRIST LIVES IN ME?  EVEN WHEN I DENY THAT GOD IS WORKING IN ME...GOD MAKES ME OUT TO BE A FOOL.  BY BRINGING ME BACK TO MY KNEES.

WHAT CAN I DO?? GOD CHOSE ME TO BE A LIGHT, A TESTIMONY OF HIS GRACE.  I wasn't "trying" to be a christian and God saw me faithful and decided to work in me.  NO, this is what literally went down in heaven. 

The God of the universe saw this this FOOL, john park and said...hmm, haha, perfect, I guess  I can work with this one...

AND I AM FOREVER THANKFUL AND IN LOVE WITH HIM WHO LOVED ME MORE THAN I CAN IMAGINE. 

and I AM THANKFUL.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TILL I SEE HIM FACE TO FACE....

I cant wait for that day.

Till Im wrapped up in his embrace

I cant wait to FEEL his grace.

Is this true? that A Man Like me can be loved by GOD?

Unbelieveable and unfathomable...

I still have my doubts.

Yet he gives me glimpses

with his gentle kisses

when I am broken and down

when I have given myself to things around

He still treasures me, precious in his sight.

Therefore I will all the more shout!

I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!!!!

Even though others point at my sins and try to drown me OUT!

I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!!!!

FOREVER I WILL SHOUT

because he LOVED me, He LOVES me...

Forever, his love wont die...